Sunday, May 8, 2022
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After a long and dynamic life that was overflowing with a deep love for family, the Bessette Clan says farewell to one of the anchors of its' roots.
Bernard Bessette Sr. was an endearing and adventurous soul, who so loved being surrounded by the comforts and familiar sounds of home and hearth, and that was really how his final days on earth were spent. Amid the sounds of his great-grand-children's playful laughter. Hearing the melody of his grandchildren's music, the comfort of their loving faces and acts of love and gentle service. In the company and arms of those children he treasured, and who treasured him so dearly.
Having long been suffering with the pains of the wearing out process, and with the help and support of his loving wife Beverly, he was finally welcomed home to his lord and savior and reunited with his beloved Simone.
I imagine him now, watching over us all as we navigate our grief, in a setting not unlike the house by the lake I remember visiting from our childhood. You know the one... the smell of fish frying and cedar wood, an overcrowded living room in front of floor to ceiling windows before a picture perfect landscape of evergreens and sandy beach. Black Labradors and Huskies barking against wild flaming sunsets with the sounds and smells of boat engines tracing through the waters. The speckling of fishing huts on the lake and the snow that inevitably piled up to your waist. Bare bottomed children in floatie wings dipping their toes into slightly too cold water for swimming. A buffet of smiling faces, raucous laughter, and raised voices shouting that special Northern blend of Frenglish that I only half understood in my youth. It's the setting I find myself longing for more and more the older I get, and I credit Grandpa and Grandma for making it so enchanting at an early age.
I remember the first years I came to North Bay with my Mom and Dad and James, feeling out of place and unsure of things. Grandpa was not the kind of man to let you feel unwelcome. Once you were in the door, you were considered "Home". I remember the dark nights in the summer where you could see a billion stars from the dock; a far cry from our light polluted city skies... the warm smell of the wood burning fires that have always felt like home to me. When my mother and I came into the family, I got to experience first hand the kind of generosity my new grandparents hearts were capable of. They took in children who needed a home. They took in their family when things were going rough. They gave whatever was in their means to do so whenever there was a need.
Bernie came from a time where big families were a strength; and boy, did he ever bring up a strong family of considerable size! With 7 children and 15 grandchildren, I've lost count of the Great Grands! His kisses were honest and his hugs were grounding. The twinkle in his eye and that infectiously sweet belly laugh of his just radiated through a room with a warm vibration that made you smile even in the worst of moods. I count myself lucky, because in the proud and strong man that he was, he imparted so much of himself to my Dad, Frank. I owe so much to my grandpa that I can hardly articulate except to say that he is a large part of the reason my life, my marriage, my motherhood is as wonderful as it is. I am grateful to him for bringing my Dad into the world, for the example he set and the man he raised, so that I may learn what to seek in a partner. The apple did not fall far from this handsome tree, and I chose my husband in the safety and security of its' shade. I find so much to give thanks for in Grandpa's life and his passing;
That his pain is gone.
That in his absence, our family ties may grow stronger.
That we grew to know what unconditional love looked like.
That the family he built is large enough to share the lessons and memories contained in his life for generations to come.
That I had a father I never knew, but because of Grandpa Bernie and Grandma Simone, I was blessed to know what it felt like to have a Dad.
That I have security in my marriage for I know the man I married like I know the men that guided me to him.
That my daughter will too have an unbreakable chain of strength and love to draw from as she grows, and a blueprint generations in the making to follow in finding a good man herself.
That this was not goodbye, for we will all see one another again.
I am profoundly touched by the love and tenderness I got to see in my brothers James and Bo this last week. For them, his passing was of immeasurable weight. I am proud of the strength shown from the cousins I have been in touch with through this sad time, and my aunts who I have had the privilege of sharing the sorrow with. I feel the depth of my connection to my parents, as I watch them walking the path of loss and grief once again, and admire the grace, durability, and sense of honour they demonstrate through it all.
The Patriarch of our family is gone, and no one could ever take his place in our hearts.
Give Grandma a hug for us all.
We'll see you soon.
